So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10 , “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD. — Jeremiah 1:8

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.  Jeremiah 1:8

Can you trust God again. 

Can you trust God.

A LETTER TO MYSELF & TO GOD

11 August 2026 — 5:14 a.m.

Dear God,

Today I woke up with questions.

Not because I don't love You.

Not because I don't believe in You.

Not because I have stopped seeking You.

But because I am human.

And sometimes, even believers fear.

Sometimes we doubt.

Sometimes we ask questions we are almost afraid to say out loud:

What if You don't answer?

What if this is it?

What if the thing I have been praying for doesn't happen?

Are You listening?

Are You hearing me?

Will You really do it?

Today, 11 August, those are the thoughts I woke up with.

And somehow, in the middle of those fears, I remembered Your Word:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9

You reminded me:

Have I not said it? Will I not do it?

But God, sometimes I look around.

I see delays.

I see patterns in my family.

I see marriages that have been delayed.

I see average lifestyles.

I see cycles repeating themselves.

I see things people have prayed about for years.

I have seen people pray for healing and still die.

I have seen people pray for something deeply and never see it come to pass.

And sometimes I wonder:

God, why?

How do we trust You when we cannot see You?

How do we trust you to comw.through in fear and doubt?

How do we hold on when we don't know the outcome?

How do we continue believing when the evidence around us seems to tell us something different?

Maybe this is where faith really begins.

Because if I could see everything, I would not need faith.

And today, Lord, I am choosing to trust the God I cannot see. My God of Yesterday. TODAY AND TOMORROW.

I don't want the world.

I want You.

I want to know You.

I want to see Jesus lifted high.

“We want to see Jesus lifted high,

A banner that flies across this land,

That all men might see the truth and know

He is the way to heaven.

Sometimes I think about that song and realise that what I truly want is not simply an answered prayer.

I want to see You.I want to see your mighty power at work in me not in bad things but good things, not in tears but joy. I want to see the crrator of heaven and earth and all that is in it manifest at work .

I want my life to become evidence that You are real to me first and to the world.

I want whatever You do in my life to point people back to You.

Not for showing off.

Not for comparison.

Not so people can envy me.

But so that I can say:

“If God did it for me, He can do it for you.”

BUT GOD, AM I ASKING FOR MY WILL OR YOURS?

This is one of the questions I have to confront honestly.

When I pray, am I genuinely asking for Your will?

Or am I asking You to bless the plan I have already made?

Am I willing to receive Your answer even if Your answer looks different from what I imagined?

Am I willing to trust You if You say wait?

Am I willing to trust You if You say no?

Am I willing to trust You if You say not yet?

And if You reveal Your will, will I have the courage to accept it?

Lord, I want to be honest with You.

There are things I desperately want.

There are things I want now.

There are vouds and gaps I want filled yesterday. Give me patience to wait and at the right time I know you will make all things beautiful. 

There are days like today  I want the God of suddenly.

The God who changes everything in one moment.

The God who answers today.

The God who says:

“Enough. It is finished. Now watch Me.”

And today feels like one of those days.

Today I seek you. 

I am looking toward the hills.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” — Psalm 121:1–2

So God, hear my heart.

Hear the groaning that I cannot always put into words.

Hear the questions.

Hear the fear.

Hear the doubts.

Hear the hope.

Hear the faith that is sometimes strong and sometimes trembling.

Answer me, Lord.

Guide me.

Show me what I need to see.

And if You choose to answer today, let today be the day of the God of suddenly.

But more than that, let Your perfevt will be done.

WHY AM I AFRAID?

Maybe because my heart has been broken.

Maybe because I have lost something I valued deeply.

Maybe because betrayal changes the way you look at tomorrow and everything.

Grief is not only the loss of a person.

Sometimes grief is the loss of what you thought your life would be.

The loss of years.

The loss of dreams.

The loss of trust.

The loss of the future you imagined.

And then you wake up and ask:

Will I ever recover those years?

Will I ever become whole again?

How do I pick up and piece these pieces?

Where do I even start?

God, this is hard.

There are days when I am strong.

There are days when I am hopeful.

There are days when I know, without reasonable doubt, that You will answer.

And then there are days like today.

Days when I wake up before sunrise with fear and doubt.

Fear of today.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of tomorrow.

Fear that maybe what I am believing for will not happen.

Fear that perhaps this is the end of a chapter I desperately wanted to continue.

And yet You remind me:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7

And again:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” — Isaiah 41:10

So today I choose to believe Your Word over my fear and doubt.

GOD, WHAT IF I CANNOT SEE YOU?

What if I cannot see what You are doing?

What if nothing appears to be changing?

What if You are working silently?

What if the silence is not absence?

What if the delay is not denial?

What if You are preparing something I cannot yet comprehend?

I don't know.

And that is what frightens me.

I don't know.

But You do.

And maybe that is enough for today.

You know tomorrow.

You know what I don't know.

You see what I cannot see.

You know the beginning, the middle and the end.

So today I will not demand that You explain everything to me.

I will simply ask You to walk with me through it and align me to.your will and ways.

THE GOD OF DIFFERENT SEASONS

I have been thinking:

Do we call God by different names in different seasons of our lives?

The God who was my provider.

The God who was my protector.

The God who was my healer.

The God who carried me when I could not carry myself.

The God who made a way.

The God who sustained me.

The God who comforted me.

The God who restored me.

The God who answered.

And perhaps now I am learning to know:

The God who is with me even when I cannot see what He is doing.

Maybe seeking God looks different in different seasons.

Sometimes we pray and wait.

Sometimes we worship and wait.

Sometimes we fast.

Sometimes we cry.

Sometimes we simply sit quietly in His presence.

Sometimes all we can say is:

God, help me.

And perhaps that prayer is enough.

Because throughout Scripture, You were a God of surprises.

You met people in unexpected places.

You answered prayers in unexpected ways.

You restored people who thought their stories were over.

You opened doors that looked permanently closed.

You brought life out of places that looked dead.

So, Lord, I will keep seeking You.

TODAY, I AM TOUCHING YOUR CLOAK

Today I feel like the woman with the issue of blood.

I don't have a perfect prayer.

I don't have perfect faith.

I don't have all the answers.

But I am reaching.

I am touching the edge of Your cloak. I will hold on to it until you answer me.

And I am saying:

Jesus, help me.

Restore me.

Heal me.

Guide me.

Lead me.

Restore the years the locusts have eaten.

Teach me what I need to learn.

Help me grow through this.

Help me overcome this.

And please, Lord, let me not remain stuck here.

Help me heal.

Help me heal fast and well.

Help me heal completely.

And help me heal without becoming bitter.

MY PRAYER TODAY

God, I don't want to approach You selfishly.

I want Your perfect will for my life.

But I also want to be honest:

I want You to answer me now.

I want to know that You hear me.

I want to know that You see me.

I want to know that You have not forgotten me.

I want to know that my life is not destined to simply repeat the cycles I have witnessed.

I want a new story.

I want restoration.

I want purpose.

I want love that is healthy.

I want peace.

I want abundance in everything. 

I want to become everything You created me to be.

And whatever You do, however You do it, whenever You do it do it in such a way that my life points people back to You.

Let people look at my life and say:

Only God could have done that.”

Not because I am special.

But because You are God.

Let my testimony become a platform for faith.

Let me tell people:

“Trust God. Believe God. He is able.”

Because You are the Creator of heaven and earth.

You are God.

You are able.

And I choose to believe that what You say, You are able to do.

WHEN FEAR COMES AGAIN

When fear comes tomorrow morning, remind me:

Do not fear, for I am with you.

When doubt comes, remind me:

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” — Matthew 6:33

When my heart becomes restless, remind me:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. — Psalm 37:4

When I am afraid I will fail, remind me:

For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you. — Deuteronomy 20:4

When I don't know what tomorrow holds, remind me that tomorrow is already in Your hands.

When I wonder whether You are real, remind me of every moment You carried me when I did not know how I would make it.

When I question whether You are listening, remind me:

Silence is not necessarily absence.

When I want everything immediately, teach me patience.

When I want my will, teach me surrender.

When I want a sign, teach me to recognise Your presence.

When I want the answer, teach me to seek the Answer Himself.

Teach me to want You more than I want what You can give me.

-AND SO, GOD, HERE I AM.

11 August.

5:14 a.m.

I woke up afraid.

I woke up questioning.

I woke up wondering:

Will You do it?

What if this is it?

But I am still here.

Still praying.

Still fasting.

Still seeking.

Still believing.

Still reaching.

Still looking toward the hills.

And perhaps that is faith too.

Not never being afraid.

But being afraid and still turning toward God. Thats all I know and I have. 

Not never doubting.

But having questions and still choosing to seek you.

Not knowing the outcome.

But trusting the One who does.

So today, God, I surrender my fear of the unknown.

I surrender my timelines.

I surrender my expectations.

I surrender my need to understand everything.

I surrender the past.

I surrender the years I cannot recover.

I surrender the heartbreak.

I surrender the betrayal.

I surrender tomorrow.

And I surrender the prayer I desperately want answered.

Your will, Lord.

But while I wait

please strengthen me.

While I wait—

please keep me close.

While I wait—

please don't let me lose faith. To hold tight.

While I wait—

let me become.

And if today is the day of the God of suddenly,

Lord, let it be.

But if it is not,

give me the grace to wake up tomorrow and still say:

“I trust You.”

Because ultimately, God,

I don't just want an answered prayer.

I want to see Jesus lifted high.

I want to know You.

I want to walk with You.

I want my life to testify of You.

And when people ask me how I made it through

I want to be able to say:

“God did it.”

Just God.

The God who heard me.

The God who carried me.

The God who never left me.

The who.answered even when I doubted and in fear.

The God who was working even when I could not see Him.

The God who restored me.

The God who answered.

And the God who, through it all,

taught me that He Himself was enough.

He is God. My mighty God.

Amen.

11 August 2026 | 5:14 a.m.

God, I am afraid but I am still choosing You.