Who Is To Blame?
Where Is the Problem in Society?
Sadly, watching the video of the students at Utumishi, the eight girls who allegedly burnt their dormitory and caused the deaths of their 16 fellow students, left me with many questions.
Who are their parents?
Why did this happen?
What drives a child to participate in such a heinous act?
As I watched the footage, I could not help but think back to the Kyanguli Secondary School tragedy of 2001, where 67 boys lost their lives after a dormitory was set on fire by fellow students. More than two decades later, we are still witnessing similar tragedies.
I am not a perfect parent, nor would I dare point fingers at other parents. But looking back at how I was raised by my own parents, I do not think I would ever have imagined participating in such an act. I was not perfect. I had my own issues, moments of rebellion, and mistakes. Yet even in those moments, I feared being found on the wrong side of the law, in bad company, or bringing shame to my family.
I was raised by a father who was not necessarily strict but was firm, caring, loving, present, and a real man. I was raised by a loving, prayerful, and ever-present mother. For that, I thank God.
As I reflect on this tragedy, I am reminded of Proverbs 22:6:
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
A child who is loved, cared for, guided, corrected, listened to, and heard even if raised by a single parent would, in my mind, be less likely to participate in something so devastating.
Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps life is more complicated than that. Good parents can raise children who still make terrible decisions. Children can fall into the wrong company. Peer pressure is real. Rebellion is real. Human choice is real.
But the questions remain.
Who are these children?
Who are their parents?
Where are their fathers?
What is the relationship between these parents and their children?
What do their homes look like?
How present are their parents in their lives?
Because at the end of the day, parents cannot entirely outsource the responsibility of raising children to teachers, matrons, schools, guardians, or even grandparents.
Something has gone terribly wrong somewhere.
As I watched the video, I found myself thinking about all the different people affected by this tragedy.
First, the parents whose children lost their lives.
May God grant eternal rest to the departed souls and comfort their families, friends, and loved ones. There is no pain quite like receiving a child in a coffin when you sent them to school to learn, grow, and build a future.
Then there are the parents whose children survived but were injured and traumatized. Their lives may never be the same again.
There are also the students who witnessed the events unfold. The memories may stay with them for years.
And finally, there are the parents of the girls accused of committing this act.
What goes through a parent's mind when they are called to school and told that their child may have participated in such a horrific crime?
Where do you even begin?
Do you question yourself?
Do you replay every moment of your child's upbringing?
Do you ask whether you failed somewhere?
Or do you wonder whether, despite your best efforts, your child made a choice you could never have imagined?
How do you look at your child after that?
I honestly cannot imagine.
A friend and I were discussing this tragedy, and she even wondered whether there could be deeper influences at play. Some people speculate about spiritual influences, occult practices, or other forces. The truth is, many theories emerge whenever something so shocking happens.
Anything is possible.
But the reality is that none of us yet fully knows what was going through the minds of those girls.
What struck me most was watching one of the fathers whose daughter perished.
He was restless.
Distressed.
Desperate for answers.
Searching for his child.
Fighting to be told where she was.
Only to eventually learn that she was among those who had died.
The pain on that father's face was heartbreaking.
Yet what touched me even more was hearing him say that he did not want revenge. He did not want to pursue anything out of anger. The only justice he desired was to have his daughter returned to him alive.
Of course, we know that is impossible.
But what a statement.
What a father's heart.
In the middle of unimaginable grief, all he wanted was his child back.
Today, I am left wondering about the feelings, thoughts, and emotions of everyone affected by this tragedy.
The grieving parents.
The injured students.
The surviving students.
The teachers.
The school administration.
The accused girls.
Their parents.
Their families.
The entire nation.
Where is the problem in society?
Who is to blame?
Is it the parents?
The children?
The teachers?
The school administration?
The government?
The system?
The devil?
Or are we all looking for an easy target to blame while ignoring the deeper issues affecting our families, communities, and young people?
I would not be surprised if many of these children come from homes where fathers are absent physically, emotionally, or in responsibility or parents are busy chasing careers. money and have no time for this children.
Perhaps I am wrong.
But it raises another important question:
Where are the men in our society?
Strong families need present fathers. but lately I see absence in men just a few present ones especially in their children's lives.
Children need guidance.
Children need discipline.
Children need love.
Children need boundaries.
Children need examples worth following.
As a society, perhaps we need to ask harder questions about parenting, family structures, accountability, mentorship, values, faith, and the environments we are creating for our children.
Because tragedies like these do not affect only the victims.
They affect everyone.
The Bible speaks about both forgiveness and justice.
Forgiveness does not mean ignoring wrongdoing. It means refusing to allow bitterness and hatred to consume us.
Justice, on the other hand, exists to ensure accountability and protect society.
The two can coexist.
One can forgive while still allowing the law to take its course.
As investigations continue, justice must be allowed to follow the truth wherever it leads.
But beyond justice, we must ask ourselves:
What can we do differently as parents?
How can we become more present in our children's lives?
How can we listen more?
How can we guide better?
How can we identify warning signs earlier?
How can we raise children who value life and understand the consequences of their actions?
Because no parent should have to bury a child who left home for school.
And no child should lose their life at the hands of fellow students.
My prayers remain with every family affected by this heartbreaking tragedy.
May God comfort the grieving, heal the wounded, give wisdom to investigators, and help us as a society confront the difficult questions we can no longer afford to ignore.
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