What’s Your Why?

What’s Your Why?

There comes a point in life where you stop and ask yourself hard questions.

Who are you really?

Why are you doing what you are doing?

If you only had the next 48 hours to live, would you still be where you are today? Doing what you are doing? Tolerating what you are tolerating? Comfortable with just being comfortable?

Life is a choice. Life is intentionality.

Do you ever wake up wondering, “Is this just it?” Or am I alone in feeling this way? Do you ever ask yourself why God placed you on this earth? If today was your last day, would you honestly be happy with the life you lived?

I see potential everywhere. I see it in people every single day. I love helping people, encouraging them, and giving back. But lately I have had to stop and ask myself  what about me?

This morning during my usual call with my mum, she shared something that puzzled me,  She told me that dad had always known I loved writing and that I was good at it, back from when I was in Form 2. The truth is, I have been writing since I was little. I journal almost daily. There is hardly a day that passes without me scribbling something down. Thank God for phones because sometimes ideas come so fast I just type them into my notes before they disappear. I have books and books full of thoughts, ideas, reflections, random scribbles things that may look meaningless to others but mean something to me.

Almost 20 years ago, when the internet was still new, I started a blog. That blog, together with my curiosity and understanding of the internet and Facebook, is what got me my first professional job as a Regional Marketing Executive with absolutely no prior experience competing for a role with candidates who had years of experience. Just research,  passion, go getter and I Can attitude and the desire to learn. I have always read a lot. I have always wanted to think differently, do more, and stay ahead.

And yet deep inside, I feel like I have not even scratched the surface of who I am meant to become.

This morning I told my mum something   because of my upbringing, fear, and survival mentality, I became comfortable with being comfortable. I followed the safe path of what i saw in them or the people that have sorrounded me . I followed what made sense. I stayed within limits. But there is another part of me that wakes up some mornings feeling like I can conquer the world, become anything i want to be, build anything, and change lives.

Then there are days fear creeps in. Doubt creeps in. And lately, those days have been louder.

I do not know if this is what billionaires and highly successful people feel or felt at some point in their lives. But lately I have been questioning myself deeply because the truth is I know my why. I know what I want. I know who I am. I know my capabilities. I am grateful for every experience and lesson my career journey has given me.

But I also acknowledge today that I have struggled with imposter syndrome. 

I have doubted my abilities. I have undervalued myself. I have felt like others are better than me. I have felt unseen, undervalued, and like I do not fully belong. I set extremely high standards for myself because I believe impossible things are possible. And when things do not happen the way I imagine, I retreat inward. Sometimes disappointed but more often I quickly pick myself and keep showing up.

What hurts me most is this I spend so much time seeing possibilities in others, encouraging others to pursue their dreams, helping businesses grow, pushing people to become all God created them to be…desiring to see others succeed yet sometimes I ask myself, what have I truly done for myself? Those businesses I see potential in is that potential actually me?

Those ideas I help others execute… are some of them the idea's am supposed to build myself?

I have realized something painfully honest no one will carry your dream for you. No one fully understands what you carry inside you except you. People may support you, encourage you, advise you, even love you deeply but your why is your responsibility. And maybe the biggest struggle in life is not failure. Maybe it is fear. 

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of being too much.

Fear of greatness 

Fear of stepping fully into who you are meant to become.

I do not want to spend the rest of my life chasing society’s definition of success. I want a life where deep down in my soul I feel settled, aligned, fulfilled, and at peace knowing I am living the life God intended for me.And strangely enough, I possess alot of talents but writing is the one place where I feel that alignment the most. I feel at home. In writing am able to put my thoughts  down deeply  and visualize

When I write, I disappear into it completely. I can spend an entire day reading, writing, learning, thinking, and reflecting and I come out feeling full again. Those are the moments I feel closest to myself. Closest to purpose. Closest to God.

Yesterday at work I met a client. Another guest joined us and, from the outside, you would never think much of him. But the moment he started speaking, you realized this was a man who had lived. A man who had seen the world, made money, built relationships, experienced life. One thing he said stayed with me deeply.

“I have lived a good life. A life I desired. I have made money, seen the world, helped people, travelled, spent time with friends and family… and I am grateful. "

Fulfillment is not just about money, titles, status, or achievement. Maybe it is about alignment. About becoming fully who you were created to be. Today I ask you: what is your why?

Life is short, yet at the same time life is long. Be conscious of why you are here. Our time is limited. Every day passes so fast, and sometimes I feel like there is something inside me fighting to come out  something bigger, something deeper, something more meaningful. The hardest part is implementation.

You can have the dreams, the vision, the ideas, the skills, the calling but bringing it to life is different. In Kenya we say, “vitu kwa ground ni different.” And it is true. Your why may make perfect sense inside your mind, but execution requires courage AND BOLDNESS. That is what separates the bold from the comfortable.

Lately I have realized that the fortune truly favours the bold. Those who dare to pursue their why despite fear. Despite doubt. Despite limited resources. Despite uncertainty.

I thank God for my parents because I know if they had every resource possible, there is nothing they would not do for me. That is what they have shown all my life. Their belief in me has never been the issue. The battle has mostly been within myself. Fear. Doubt. Hesitation!

I think of that Maya Angelou quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Years ago, a friend and colleague used to say those words all the time, and honestly back then they did not fully make sense to me. But today they are louder than ever.

Maybe many of us are not failing because we lack potential. Maybe we are failing because we are afraid of our own greatness. Afraid of the responsibility that comes with becoming who we truly are.

The Bible in James speaks about faith without works being dead. You can have the vision, knowledge, and dreams but implementation is where transformation happens.

And maybe that is where I am today.

Standing between comfort and courage.

Between fear and purpose.

Between who I have been and who I know I can become.

So today, as I journal these thoughts, I remind myself  and maybe you too that your WHY matters.

Do not ignore it.

Do not silence it.

Do not spend your life shrinking yourself to fit spaces you have already outgrown.

Go for what you want at whatever cost.

Live to your full potential 

Live fully

Laugh loudly

Love boldly 

Care deeply

Give mure

Listen keenly

Hear clearly 

It would be never fully becoming.

Because at the end of it all, the greatest tragedy would not be failing.

**********

One thing I admire about Daymond John is that he speaks from experience, not theory. His books *The Power of Broke* and *Why?* carry powerful lessons about purpose, resilience, and hunger. In *The Power of Broke*, he reminds us that sometimes our greatest limitations become the birthplace of our biggest dreams. When resources are few, creativity, discipline, faith, and determination are born. His own journey of building FUBU from humble beginnings proves that success is not defined by where you start, but by the hunger and consistency you carry within you. In *Why?*, he challenges people to ask themselves deeper questions: Why are you doing what you are doing? Why does your dream matter? Why should people believe in your vision? That message stays with me because life is deeper than survival it is about intentionality, purpose, and becoming all that God created us to be.

What is your why? Sometimes in our limitations we birth our dreams. I am tired of lack. Tired of simply existing, watching days pass by without fully living my potential. But maybe, as my daughter innocently says whenever we see bigger cars and bigger houses, there is still more ahead for us. Or maybe where I am today is part of the process toward greatness. I do not have all the answers. What I know is this, we take life one day at a time, remain fully present, and do what we can daily. We may not accomplish everything in a single day, but we keep showing up because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Sometimes blessings and breakthroughs happen in God’s timing, not ours. So I remain dependent on Him, trusting His process, walking by faith, and as I always say, where He leads, we go.

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